You're kinda, sorta, basically, pretty much always on my mind. -- psacake.com

Offensive TV

What is the MOST offensive show on TV? South Park? Family Guy? The Most Offensive Show On Television is MTV�s My Super Sweet 16.

For the uninitiated, here�s how MTV describes the show:

My Super Sweet 16 takes you on a wild ride behind the scenes for all the drama, surprises and over-the-top fun as teens prepare for their most important coming-of-age celebrations. Meet the kids who are determined to go all out to mark this major turning point in their lives, the parents who lavish every wish, and find out first hand what it's really like to turn 16 these days.

Read the whole story at The AV Club

Quick Links

UnGreek: Generate actual text instead of using LOREM IPSUM...
FutureMe.org: Send yourself emails in the future.
reality blurred: Reailty show weblog

What They Said:

MGMNT says Comment Fixed on 5/24/2006
Ok.. sorry 'bout that.. comments are fixed now.

1 Comments | Perm-a-link | 5/23/2006

Proud Husband

Congratulations to my wife for getting pinned.

HOOORAAHHH

You may have noticed

or not..

Undergoing a little update, for now, only the home page has been updated, more to come. There are some other more subtle changes going on too. Heck.. perhaps I'll even get back in the posting groove.

HEY LADY

To the lady at the barber shop yesterday with Anthony and Vinnie and her fake Loius Vitton (sp? ahh who cares) bag. Your kids are brats, and you're no better. Teach your kids some self control or next time I'll poke your eyes out with the barber's scissors.

Thank you.. that is all.

0 Comments | Perm-a-link | 5/17/2006

Annoyed

It couldn't be the rain.. heck..we've had barely 10 inches.. this week. Lately, it seems that not a day goes by where something annoys me. The shortlist includes:
The weather
The local tv stations - let's go live to see it raining.. see.. look.. it's raining.. now over to the doppler 10 million.. look.. it's raining here to. Breaking news, it's raining, and we're live.
Customer Service.. or better the lack there of. Why am I the one saying thank you at the checkout? I love the grunt I get back too.. that's a nice touch.
TV in general, more specifically er.
Barry Bonds
SPAM
My problem with CRS (that's can't remember sh1t)
what was I talking about again?

Immigration

I'll admit, this isn't 100% my idea, but I'll be darned if I can find the portions of it now. As far as immigration goes.. my requirements are: 1) speak english
2) don't ask for antyhing you didn't work for
3) speak english

Beyond that.. who cares? Last time I checked, this country was built by immigrants. For the "they don't pay taxes" argument.. try this one on for size:
Eliminate the income tax(es), yes.. I said eliminate them. Raise the sales tax on EVERYTHING to like 20 or 25%. Now the drug dealers, illegal immigrants et al are paying taxes. We'd probably collect more tax dollars than with the income tax, and as a extra added bonus we can ditch the IRS.

The Freedom Tower

So they are going to build The Freedom Tower where the World Trade Center buildings used to be. But how to prevent another terrorist attack?

It's really quite simple. Move the UN. That's right.. put the United Nations on the top floors of the new building. And for some extra added insurance move all the Embassies and or Consulates into that building to.

What They Said:

March To the Sea says Yikes on 5/16/2006
BBS says Hmmm on 5/16/2006
and it is already late and over budget!Shoot maybe I should emigrate to someplace warm and dry. Breaking news IT IS STILL RAINING!!! and we are LIVE!

2 Comments | Perm-a-link | 5/16/2006

Happy Birthday Cam!

Also Today..
1606 - England adopted the original Union Jack as its flag.
1861 - Fort Sumter was shelled by Confederacy, starting America's Civil War.
1877 - A catcher's mask was used in a baseball game for the first time by James Alexander Tyng.
1964 - The 100th episode of "Mr. Ed" aired on CBS.
1981 - The space shuttle Columbia blasted off from Cape Canaveral, FL, on its first test flight.

Happy Birthday to PJ too!

0 Comments | Perm-a-link | 4/12/2006

Think About This...

On Wednesday, at two minutes and three seconds after 1:00 in the morning, the time and date will be 01:02:03 04/05/06.

How Much?

How much is inside a Sharpie?

Sharpie fine point permanent markers are an office-worker's second-best friend. Not only do they provide a strong, legible mark, the comfortable shape and low price make marking fun!

Perhaps the only problem with Sharpies is that eventually they run out, and those little refill kits never seem to work. How far could a Sharpie go before that happened?

0 Comments | Perm-a-link | 4/4/2006

Think before you speak

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back... or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....

FIRST TESTIMONY:

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back
My husband didn't say a word...
he knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY:

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."

THIRD TESTIMONY:

My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.

FOURTH TESTIMONY:

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY:

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? Mythree-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean. The realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while. I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No". I kept thinking "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me."
Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"
"No," he replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?"
This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled
"SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:

This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any! We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked:
"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

Remember we all say things we don't really mean, so think before you speak.

0 Comments | Perm-a-link | 3/8/2006

Real Headlines

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

War Dims Hope for Peace

If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

0 Comments | Perm-a-link | 3/6/2006

Are you kidding me?

Michael Morales, 46, was scheduled to die Tuesday by injection for torturing, raping and murdering a 17-year-old girl 25 years ago.

But officials at San Quentin State Prison could not meet the demands of a federal judge who ordered licensed medical personnel to take part in the execution. Because of ethical considerations, there were no takers, and the execution was called off.

The jackass judge wanted to make sure that Morales didn't feel any pain. WHAT? Torture, rape and murder, and we're worried that he's going to feel a little pinch?

Olympic Update

Hockey - Canada, USA down, out and over.
Davis suing city of Chicago for racial profiling.
Bode injures ankle playing hoops.
Jumping for show, Jacobellis gives up the gold.
American Idol gets better ratings.
Canada beats the US 11-5 in curling.
Curling is the No. 2 sport in Canada behind hockey.

You know what the Olympics most remind me of? Miss America. The pageant worked the same dodge for decades, giving us competitors we'd never heard of, putting on acts we didn't really care about, with judging we often didn't understand.

0 Comments | Perm-a-link | 2/22/2006

Our Tax Dollars

Our Tax Dollars hard at work.

There is a contestant in American Idol that is from Massachusetts... and it's great that her father is in California to support her. Shouldn't Senator Scott Brown be at work? Last I checked the MA Senate isn't on recess. Glad he's working for me.

In other news...Legislators voice fear on new armor-piercing weapons.
Is the time-tested truism that criminals can get their hands on anything they want (drugs, guns, money), regardless of its legal status, some kind of revelation for these people? Are they just now waking up to this?

In one breath they propose banning the sale of handguns to law-abiding citizens, to get them "off the streets". In the very next breath they acknowledge that criminals intent on violating the law will have no problem buying ammunition for the hopefully-soon-to-be-banned handguns on the black market.

Just where do they think the criminals are getting their guns in the first place?

Bottom line is that laws such as this affect only those citizens prone to - wait for it - obeying the law. The principle of supply and demand that drives the black market cannot be wished away by any level of feel-good, hand-holding, fairy tale adventures in lawmaking.

Violent gangbangers, intent on murdering their fellow scumbags, are walking the streets with complete disregard for Attorney General Reilly's Approved Firearms Roster.

Shocking, no?

There's simply not enough gun control here in Massachusetts. Though, who could blame the Police for taking that stance? There's actual, dangerous policework involved with "stringently regulating" criminals. It's so much easier (not to mention, possible) to restrict my rights by passing more gun laws instead.

I love Massachusetts.

What They Said:

That Guy says Used to Work in Britain on 2/28/2006
The British used to have very effective gun control: If you used a gun to commit a crime in which someone was killed, you automatically got to ride in Mr. Edison's Rocking Chair. British Bobbies didn't even carry guns.

I have a friend who's a reporter in suburban England. She routinely reports on things like charities being vandalized, homeowners unable to protect their property, and the police completely ineffective at stopping hoodlums.

Shoot, it's better than that in Massachusetts, but give 'em time.

1 Comments | Perm-a-link | 2/20/2006

Memorial Day