You're kinda, sorta, basically, pretty much always on my mind. -- psacake.com

Crisis

A picture is worth a thousand words:

The Independent has a great infographic depicting which countries support the immediate ceasefire in the Middle East demanded by the UN and which do not

Lucrative College Degrees

Are you still in school? Are you looking for a job that pays big bucks? CNN Money has a list of the most lucrative college degrees.

Majors that have seen some of the biggest increases in average starting salaries are:

Hospitality services management
Business administration
Accounting
Economics
Information sciences
Civil engineering
Chemical engineering

Check out the entire list.

0 Comments | Perm-a-link | 7/25/2006

What starts with F and ends with K?

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"

Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade & I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!"

Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade & behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in & the conditions were explained to him & he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Harry: "9."

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Harry: " 36."

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks & tells her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade."

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."

The principal & Harry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"

Harry, after a moment: "Legs."

Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!

Harry replied: "Pockets."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"

Harry: "Pants."

Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious & contains thin, whitish liquid?"

Harry: "Coconut."

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard & pink then comes out soft & sticky?"

The principal's eyes opened really wide & before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, "Bubble gum."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down & a dog does on three legs?"

Harry: "Shake hands."

The principal was trembling.

Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' & ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat & excitement?"

Harry: "Firetruck."

The principal breathed a sigh of relief & told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong......

What They Said:

WastedRantUser says Wasted on 7/13/2006
Happy Birthday Cake!

1 Comments | Perm-a-link | 7/13/2006

Learn Chinese

English - Chinese
Are you harboring a fugitive- Hu Yu Hai Ding
See me A.S.A.P. - Kum Hia Nao
Small Horse - Tai Ni Po Ni
Your price is too high - No Bai Dam Thing
Did you go to the beach - Wai Yu So Tan
I bumped into a coffee table - Ai Bang Mai Ni
I think you need a facelift - Chin Tu Fat
It's very dark in here - Wai So Dim?
Has your flight been delayed? - Hao Long Wei Ting?
That was an unauthorized execution.- Lin Ching
I thought you were on a diet - Wai Yu Mun Ching?
This is a tow away zone. - No Pah King
You are not very bright - Yu So Dum
I got this for free - Ai No Pei
I am not guilty - Wai Hang Mi?
Please, stay a while longer - Wai Go Nao?
Our meeting was scheduled for next week - Wai Yu Kum Nao
They have arrived - Hia Dei Kum
Stay out of sight - Lei Lo
He's cleaning his automobile - Wa Shing Ka

What They Said:

BBS says Happy Birthday on 7/13/2006
Happy Birthday To YOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUU

1 Comments | Perm-a-link | 7/12/2006

Independence Day

"Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves."
-- Abraham Lincoln

"My God! How little do my countrymen know what precious blessings they are in possession of, and which no other people on earth enjoy!"
-- Thomas Jefferson

"You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism."
-- Erma Bombeck

0 Comments | Perm-a-link | 7/4/2006

Diet Coke and Mentos

See what will happen if you'll put mentos in Diet Coke

What They Said:

BBS says Oh Man on 6/29/2006
LBF says Drat.. on 6/30/2006
Missed letterman..but I am SOOOO tempted to try this if the wife was not the heaviest of diet coke drinkers!

2 Comments | Perm-a-link | 6/29/2006

Wash ME!!

How often have you seen WASH ME written on the dirty car window?

Wouldn't you rather see this:

Austin's Scott Wade uses paint-brushes and his fingers to paint incredibly detailed art-scenes in the dust that accumulates on the windows of his Mini Cooper. The Austin American-Statesman has a small gallery of his finest work.

0 Comments | Perm-a-link | 6/28/2006

Meltdown

Manager of the minor league Asheville Tourists loses his mind after an unsuccessful pickoff attempt.

What They Said:

Ump says Off The Hook on 6/27/2006
LBF says Never gets old on 6/27/2006
He didn't hurt anyone (other than his ego) so I could watch this 20000 times.

2 Comments | Perm-a-link | 6/27/2006

As random as it gets

Seen earlier this month on the window of a car going down the highway "WHERE OUTAA HERE!! SENIORS '06" That's a direct quote... and your tax dollars hard at work.

Here's a list of American proprietary eponyms, or brand names that have fallen into general use. And eponyms is your word for the day!

I was recently ordering a Ceasar Salad, and the woman asked me if I wanted Ceasar dressing with it. HuhWha?

State Senator Jared Barrios wants to ban the fluffernutter in elementary schools. His shorts got in a bunch when it was served to his kid at lunch. Here is an idea jackass; instead of coming up with all this legislation, make your kid a healthy lunch to bring to school!

Wimp: Saddam Hussein ended a hunger strike after missing just one meal, a U.S. official said Friday.

0 Comments | Perm-a-link | 6/26/2006

Rock Paper Scissors

We've all played it at one time or another. The classic rock paper scissors (or once twice three shoot!)

First you had golf and bowling on TV. Then Poker. Now?! Rock Paper Scissors Championship! Yep.. really. Rock Paper Scissors Championship on A&E.

The program reveals the history of the game and the finer points of strategy.

Well.. there probably isn't anything else on anyway.

Just in case

Just in case you're under a rock .. Abu Musab al-Zarqawi is dead.
And we are LIVE
He is still dead
We don't have anything to really tell you, but we are LIVE
Let's go to the Pentagon
Yep.. He's dead
Let's go to Bob in Iraq
Yep.. He's dead
Let's go to Joe in London
Yep.. He's dead (with an English accent)
We are LIVE
And there was no other news today.

0 Comments | Perm-a-link | 6/8/2006

060606

Ok.. so today's date..
there I said it.. blah what's the big deal?

Last Comic Standing

So NBC is trying Last Comic Standing again. Hopefully this time around they'll actually air the final episode. Note to the ding dongs at NBC. We don't care about Anthony Clark, he's only a little less bad than Jay Mohr. SHOW US THE DAMN COMICS. Not just 30 seconds.. SHOW US THE COMICS!!!!! Why is that such a tought thing to figure out? geesh.

Have you ever noticed...

Have you ever noticed that wire hangers breed but plastic ones (especially the nice ones) don't?

Have you ever noticed that time speeds up as you get older? It use to be that Christmas took forever to show up but now you wonder where the first half of the year went.

Have you ever noticed how extremely difficult it is for a person to keep his mind open and his mouth shut at the same time?

Have you ever noticed that the things you never wanted are considerably cheaper?

0 Comments | Perm-a-link | 6/6/2006