You're kinda, sorta, basically, pretty much always on my mind. -- psacake.com

Who, Why or If?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on ...

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

0 Comments | Perm-a-link | 8/3/2004

Happy Birthday

Happy berfday BBS

Happy B'Day BBS

JFK

[Cox & Forkum]

0 Comments | Perm-a-link | 7/30/2004

It's yer berfday

Happy Birthday Foodie H

The Curse

July 27 (Bloomberg) -- Boston has its infamous curses, including one involving the legendary baseball slugger Babe Ruth. Senator John Kerry may wonder if he'll join the list.

No Democrat in the last 136 years has won the presidency when nominated in his home state. For Kerry, the proximity couldn't be closer. His Beacon Hill townhouse is less than a mile from the Boston arena where he'll accept the Democratic presidential nomination on Thursday.
[Bloomberg]

What They Said:

enevi says confusing... on 7/28/2004
LBF says Thanks on 7/29/2004
LBF says Thanks on 7/29/2004
Thank you..thank you. Gifts can be sent to........

3 Comments | Perm-a-link | 7/27/2004

Chocolate is a Vegetable

Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar cane or sugar BEETS. Both of them are plants, in the vegetable category.

Thus, chocolate is a vegetable.

To go one step further, chocolate candy bars also contain milk, which is dairy.

So candy bars are a health food.

Chocolate-covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

CSI Hardball

NEW YORK (AP) - Actors George Eads and Jorja Fox will both be back on the job next week at "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation" after learning a lesson in hardball network politics.

Eads reached an agreement Friday to return to television's most popular drama after he was fired for skipping work in what CBS believed was a contract dispute, CBS entertainment spokesman Chris Ender said.

0 Comments | Perm-a-link | 7/24/2004

Political Humor

I've had this link since Monday.. but you can finally see the animation.
This Land Is Your Land

And the guys that did it JibJab.

Really funny.. flash and sound required.

What They Said:

LegoDoug says Balanced Political Humor? on 7/27/2004
I didn't think it was possible! Great fun that shoots at both sides. Hmmm. Maybe they were Libertarians or Greens.

1 Comments | Perm-a-link | 7/23/2004

Blessed

If you woke up this morning with more health than illness, you are more blessed than the million who won't survive the week.

If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture or the pangs of starvation, you are ahead of 20 million people around the world.

If you attend a church meeting without fear of harassment, arrest, torture, or death, you are more blessed than almost three billion people in the world.

If you have food in your refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof over your head and a place to sleep, you are richer than 75% of this world.

If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish someplace, you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy.

If your parents are still married and alive, you are very rare, especially in the United States.

If you hold up your head with a smile on your face and are truly thankful, you are blessed because the majority can, but most do not.

If you can hold someone's hand, hug them or even touch them on the shoulder, you are blessed because you can offer God's healing touch.

If you can read this message, you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world that cannot read anything at all.

You are so blessed in ways you may never even know.

0 Comments | Perm-a-link | 7/19/2004

Cheap Date?

On July 27th McDonald's is celebrating the 25th aniversary of the Happy Meal. To celebrate, Mickey D's will be selling Happy Meals for only 99 cents. This could add new meaning to "cheap date."

Gimme gimme

LOS ANGELES (AP) - Two stars of the CBS hit television series "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation" were fired for breach of contract, KCBS-TV and Variety reported Thursday.

Actors Jorja Fox and George Eads, who play investigators Sara Sidle and Nick Stokes, were fired after asking for more money to stay on the show, according to the reports.

Identity Theft

The penalties for Identity Theft got a lot stiffer today. Judges and Prosecutors now can really throw the book at individuals charged and convicted of Identity Theft. This is a win for consumers. Hopefully the banking industry will get on board and help us fight these criminals. [Guardian Unlimited]

What They Said:

LBF says happy meal! on 7/18/2004
I guess I can get a 99 cent lunch on my birfday!

1 Comments | Perm-a-link | 7/16/2004

How many clicks?

How many clicks does it take to get from Google to your website? Without useing the search box wiseass.
>> Google

>> more..

>> Directory

>> Internet

>> Programming

>> Resources

>> 30th link down

Silly Names

The Name Game is back in business, with even more names than before. There is also an option to filter alphabetically.

0 Comments | Perm-a-link | 7/14/2004

What They Said:

RantUser says Vote Nader on 7/13/2004
LBF says Happy Birfday on 7/15/2004
Happy B'day you old coot.

2 Comments | Perm-a-link | 7/13/2004

Last Comic Standing

Ok.. hello NBC why can't we actually see the comics doing comedy in Last Comic Standing? The show is an hour long, take out the commercials, and all the dumb stories and we get left with 5 minutes of comedy.

Here is an idea, at the very least, let the two schmoes that are going head to had have a 15 minute set. Let us see what they can actually do!

Citizenship Test

As a US Citizen (if you are...) how much do you actually know about your own country? Try the US Citizenship Test.

0 Comments | Perm-a-link | 7/8/2004